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Dita von Teese has hit Australia and New Zealand in her new Glamonatrix tour. Phew! What a whirlwind this show is from the minute the curtain opens. It took my breath away.

4.5 million (approx) Swarovski crystals were used in the making of this show. The opening number sets the scene that it’s going to be decadent. This show lives up to that promise.

Buckle up buttercup this is a burlesque show like you’ve never seen here in New Zealand. The show is a combination of classic old school parade pose and peel and neo burlesque that shows off each of the international award winning performers assets.

Parade pose and peel goes back to the roots of burlesque back in the 1800’s where the performer parades skillfully around the stage, poses: allows the audience time to drink in their fabulousness and peels: reveals the item.

When done skillfully as Dita von Teese and team do it,  it is magical to watch.

Neo-burlesque is on the other hand the new burlesque where anything goes. The NZ and Australian markets are generally more neo than classic. Keep your eyes peeled folks there are reveals, that if you’re not watching you will miss.

Right, so now you get the parade, pose and peel strip tease thing let’s get this review on the road.

Jett Adore is the comedic larrikin of the group and it suits him. It reminds me of the fun and energy that is The Stage Door Johnnies who he is a member of. 

Adore comes out in luscious faux fur and has a surprise in store for us that frames one of his *best* assets.

No I’m not going to reveal what it is you need to be at the show!

If you were at the show: this is underwear, but not as you know it.

Jackie Beat the MC has some classic dad jokes that sat well with the audience. She is dripping in puns and double entendre all night which had me in stitches. She was caught up in the trans-Tasman Vegemite vs Marmite debate. So tonight’s show might fuel that further.

One of the things I liked about the show was the educational component. Between her jokes Jackie Beat was slipping in key pieces of knowledge that a first time burlesque audience member need to know.

Gia Genevieve is the shows sweet-girl-next-door and does a delightful number about her birthday. This routine involves lots of presents that had me in fits of laughter. This is proof that if you put Swarovski on anal beads they are even better!

Laszlo Major joins Gia Genevieve in her routine, the curtain closes in what we think is the end of her performance. This is the art of tease so the stage is quickly reset for a pole performance. This showcases one of Major’s skills as a pole performer.

Dirty Martini shows off her Dance Performance qualifications and comes out tassels a-blazing and treated us to an impromptu tassel class after her set. Martini’s tassel twirling is a beautiful contrast to von Teese who is wearing tassels but does not twirl. I personally enjoyed that not everyone who had tassels used them in the show. But, if you were a first time audience member this may have been frustrating. Although, you know this is the art of tease right?

Zelia Rose wooed is with her cape work. Rose is such a powerhouse and her choreography so effortlessly beautiful that I’m sure the main-actual-costume-change-reveal was missed by most of the audience. It was a moment of pure burlesque magic.

Lastly this may seem sillily-obvious to say, that von Teese “assistants” are performers in their own rights, but they are. While they are partially there to assist with props, but they are not just stage hands (kittens) or eye candy. They know how to work the stage, have spent hours crafting their stage presence and there is not a toe out of place, it’s beautiful to watch.

The last paragraph of this review goes to The Boss herself Dita von Teese. She’s was everything my showgirl heart wanted her to be and more.

The moment that got me in my showgirl/dancer/teacher heart was a delicate and powerful moment that I teach my students about and it demonstrates she has spent many an hour listening to the burlesque legends like Catherine Delish et al.

When von Teese removed her shoes to enter the martini glass and she is barefoot, von Teese spends those minutes dancing and removing her corset in relevé which is dancing on her tip toes. Why is this important? Because it sums up von Teese’s attention to detail and anyone who is learning ballet or recovering from an ankle injury will tell you, relevé/calf raises are hard work.

If you’ve seen Dita on YouTube/Vimeo and thought “it’s a bit boring”, (true story someone said this to me) then you are only seeing part of the picture.

What you’re not experiencing is the magnetic stage presence Dita von Teese has that adds another dimension to the costuming, choreography and Swarovski’s. Stage presence is not something a video camera can transmit, it is the energy a performer carries with them and the delicious interaction they have with the audience.

In burlesque there is no fourth wall. We get our kit off, in your face and love doing it. After all darling, this is stripppp tease.

Go to the show to experience the glamour, the titillation the seductive art form that is burlesque.

Crystal Mischief is an international burlesque performer, MC, producer and teacher. She teaches at Sparkleforce Academy of Burlesque and produces shows as Glitterarti Events Ltd

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